Ben Quayle's Way With Words

Back in the day--oh what halcyon days they were--Vice President Dan Quayle (R) had a little problem with his spelling.

Yes, he spelled "potato" with an "e." Oh what a jolly time our media friends had with that. Because, you see, it confirmed their worst prejudice, that Republicans were uncultured and anti-intellectual.

What a shock it is, then, to discover that Dan Quayle's son Ben has a remarkable way with words. Even the liberal Politico has taken notice covering his victory speech when he won the Republican primary for the 3rd congressional district in Arizona on Tuesday.

His victory speech's first line mirrored a startling attack ad he released in the campaign's final weeks: "I mainly have eight words for you: Barack Obama is the worst president in history," he told supporters.

Well. On the other hand, maybe he's not so good with words. His line seems a bit wordy to me. For one thing, it adds up to 15 words, including the vocal pause "mainly".

Dan Quayle can't spell, and now we find out that Ben Quayle can't add.

The thing is that in these latter days, you've got to cut things down, dumb them down so the "like" and the "totally" and the "whatever" crowd can get it. How about this:

Worst. President. Ever.

Still too long? Hmm. Maybe we have to reduce it to texting-speak, where everything is reduced to an abbreviation, as in LOL. How about:

WPE

I wonder if WPE is already taken? Let's just Google it and see.

Ah, no problem. WPE is already recognized as "worst president ever."

So that's all right. Mind you, WPE also stands for "writing proficiency exam" and "winsock packet editor." But somehow I think that people will get the point.

When they go into the voting booth in November.